Flashback

Today I needed to find some old test scores, so i started going through my paper files. I've been pretty good about not hording lots of things, since I move a lot, but somehow a lot of things managed to slip past the last 2 moves. There were pay stubs from Boeing, uncashed checks from Olin, PDEs problem sets and drawings from Sustainable Designs. A lot of things are now sitting in my trashcan, not making it through my upcoming 3rd move in 2 years, but one things won't.

I found a letter I wrote myself November of Senior Year. It's on Olin letterhead, making me think that maybe we all wrote them, but I don't remember doing it. Mine is basically an outline of what I was contemplating at the time and proves amusing in what I'm still thinking about and what I've resolved.

I apparently spent a lot of time thinking about the future. Should I do robotics or business? Is going to grad school just putting off the real world? If I wasn't enjoying classes at the time, would I even be happy in more classes? Would grad schools even consider me? If I didn't do grad school, would I find a job that I enjoyed? Did I want a job that would be close to my family or friends? How would I find a job where I could change the world? Did I even want to change the world?

Now, it looks like a lot of those questions have been resolved, at least temporarily. I made decisions, applied to grad schools, accepted jobs and worked on planning my adult life. I realize how important it is to live near people you care about and how much I needed a year or two to appreciate education. I love my family and still consider living near them. In retrospect, I wonder how much of the fretting and contemplation helped me make these decision and how much it froze me in inaction. It's somewhat enlightening to see how things change.

I think I'll write myself another one of these letters, attach it to this one, and lose them both for another 2 years.